21st century second class citizens

Seems like there's a lot of talk about adoption lately, both good and bad. I may have some bias, since I'm adopted I probably notice things mentioning adoption more than the average person may. Kind of like if you buy a blue Camry, suddenly you notice how many freakin blue Camrys are on the road (and maybe wish you'd bought a red Accord). Anyway, over the past couple of days I've heard about adoption right and left and I have some opinions (shocking, I know).

First of all, there are a couple of bills in the Missouri General Assembly (HB 1137 and SB 713) that may serve to allow SOME adopted adults access to a copy of their original birth certificate. That's right, not all, just SOME. The criteria: the birth mother must sign off that it's OK for the adopted ADULT to get a copy, or the birth mother must be dead, or the birth mother must be over 100 years old if she's still alive. That's right, first mommy holds the strings.

Can you imagine if something like this was passed for ALL adults, not just adopted adults? Your mom has control over whether you can have a copy of your birth certificate. Who cares if you're an adult and you have $15 and proof that it's you requesting it? Who cares if you lost your only copy, or if your mom never gave you the copy she got when you were born? Doesn't matter, mommy said no. No passport, driver's license, health insurance or marriage license for you.

I'm thinking that would not go over well AT ALL.

Most people don't think too much about their birth certificate because A. they have one and B. the information on it is true. However, for people who are adopted this is not the case. These days, with open adoptions, the veracity of the events surrounding the adoption, whether good or bad, are generally not called into question. But back in the "Baby Scoop Era," (Google it) there were many adoption practices that were poor at best and downright sinister at worst. Georgia Tann, Dr. Katherine Cole and other doctors, social workers, nurses and orphanage workers coerced young women into putting their babies up for adoption and some even stole the children from their mothers. Documents were signed while women were still drugged from childbirth. Birth certificates were falsified so that there was not even a "real" copy filed with the state that showed the child's name at birth and the birth mother's name. Birth dates and places were changed. Fraud was rampant.

Even Edna Gladney, who is said to have helped remove the stigma of illegitimacy from adopted children, had practices that are no longer used today. At the beginning of the 20th century, there were maternity homes across the country that young ladies could go to if they "got in trouble" and they could give birth and learn how to care for their babies and figure out what they could do. The goal, at least for many of the homes, was not for the young woman to put her baby up for adoption. But after WWII, it became our patriotic duty to produce as many children as possible (anti-communism) and maternity homes became an ideal place to find WHITE babies for those WHITE patriots who couldn't have their own. The Baby Scoop Era was in full swing by the 50s. If a white girl "got in trouble", off she went to a home (Edna Gladney, the Willows, Florence Crittenton, etc) where she had the baby, signed away her rights and showed back up at home a few months later. The focus of the homes moved away from helping a girl learn how to care for her child and herself and toward feeding a growing demand for white newborns.

This push for adoption didn't really happen in the African-American community. The same social workers who were telling white girls to give their babies up weren't giving the same advice to black girls. No demand for black babies.

And now, here we are, many years later. The "girls" of the Baby Scoop Era are anywhere from 50 to 80 years old or older. The "babies" are anywhere from 35 to 65 or older. Some of them are probably dead, likely more of the moms than the children. But they are all adults. And they've been adults for quite some time.

A lot of the young women who put their babies up for adoption were told to go home and forget about it. Have your own life, never think about your baby again. And certainly don't ever try to find him or her. Georgia Tann and Dr. Cole were even said to have told young women who had given birth that their babies had died. That way they didn't have to worry about that minor detail of a birth certificate or the mother relinquishing her rights. The baby could simply be spirited away to a waiting adopted family, who could claim that the baby was born at home. Back then most women did not work outside the home and they weren't as open about being in "a family way" as women are today. A pregnancy could be hidden fairly easily. So if Grandma didn't realize you were pregnant but you showed up with a new baby, well, it was plausible.

So in this generation, we have a lot of unanswered questions. Story after story has come out about what happened in the Baby Scoop Era, how children were stolen, how birth mothers were coerced, how adoptive parents were fed untrue stories about the origins of their children. Lies were told, people suffered unspeakable pain. Relationships were destroyed.

By the time I was born in 1974, the Baby Scoop Era was all but over. But at the time, the practice was still closed adoption and a veil of secrecy. I had the advantage of knowing both the doctor who delivered me and the attorney who handled the private adoption. When I turned 18, I asked him about my birth mother. He said I had good parents and a good life, I didn't need to know that. I accepted it. About four years ago I contacted the attorney to ask for my birth records. She denied even handling my adoption without even looking into her old records. I know because I received the return receipt on the registered letter I sent her on the same day I received her reply letter, which she typed on a typewriter herself. I guess she didn't want to leave that letter laying around her office for anyone to accidentally come across.

When secrets and lies are involved, you can only assume that what is being hidden is something sinister. At first I thought maybe it was something to do with my birth mother, that she was a promiscuous or a criminal. But now I've come to suspect that what is being hidden is the events around the adoption itself. I don't pretend to think that Dr. G and VA, the attorney, specifically remember the details of my birth and adoption. I have a feeling that likely both of them did things they'd rather not come to light and so they've brushed aside my attempts at finding information.

Fortunately for them, the law is on their side. I was born in Arkansas and to date, birth records are sealed and are to be opened only by court order. My adopted parents can get a copy of my adoption decree, but I cannot.

I know the search for the truth about my adoption and my birth parents has been painful for my adopted parents, especially my mother. I know they love me as much or more than they would have had they conceived me and she'd given birth. I am thankful that they have been supportive. My dad was from the get go, my mom took awhile to warm up to the idea and but she was the one who met me at the county clerk's office to get the adoption decree they wouldn't give to me and turned around and handed it to me in front of them. I don't think I will ever forget how I felt at that moment. I finally had a name. And mom was on my side. As she should be.

Now whether or not that name is real is another story. And due to circumstances beyond my control, my search came to a screeching halt soon after. I haven't found any new information since then.

Those who wish to keep adopted adults from getting access to their records claim to be doing so to protect the privacy of the birth parents. This is complete and utter BS. At no time when children were relinquished were birth parents promised privacy. Sealing the records protects the privacy of the CHILD. The CHILD is the only one in the adoption who has no say in what is happening. The birth parents know what they are doing. So do the adoptive parents. The people who know the birth mother knew she was pregnant and see she does NOT have a baby. The people who know the adoptive mother know she was not pregnant but she HAS a baby.

Sealing the records does protect privacy, alright, the privacy of the adoption system. If the birth parents and adopted child never meet, they can't compare stories to see if what they were told was true.

Just like African Americans and women in the early to mid 1900s, adopted adults are being treated like second class citizens. We are being denied information about ourselves "for our own good." Think back to history class and what was said about giving the "Negro" or the woman the vote or equal rights. Think about how society was going to fall apart, that they would no longer know their place, that they needed to be led by men who knew what was best. Jim Crow laws and denying women rights had nothing to do with protecting society or children. It had everything to do with keeping white men higher than the rest. I think any reasonable person can look back and see that these things were wrong. That we were all created equal, just like it says in the Declaration of Independence. Not that we're all equal, but some of us are more equal than others, like it says in Animal Farm.

Right now I feel the adoption industry is more equal than the adopted adult, and that everyone else, for that matter, is too. And if the bills in the Missouri Legislature pass as written, a few more will get to step into the "more equal" column, if their first mommies will let them.

As for me, well, I'm just hoping if every other state surrounding Arkansas opens records, they will too.